Happy 24th birthday to me tomorrow!

Happy new year everybody! Hope you have enjoyed your 2008.

Merry Christmas everybody! :)

Hope you're spending a good one.

I know I would be.

Was in Taipei for the past 9 days for my well-deserved getaway from this sunny island. Initially, this trip was really to get away from certain things/people, but eventually, the meaning of this trip became a bonding session with friends.

It's only when you pack up your bags and leave, you realise who you are leaving behind. There were nights that were really torturous to sleep through, but thank god for the pills that helped me through some nights. The first few days were okay - but it was in the middle, towards the end that the missing just became a little more unbearable.

It was also through these 9 days that you really know who really mattered to you - it has slowly transform itself as a need, rather as a want. Also realised that I cannot travel with everybody, and that there are some people I have a low tolerance for.

It was a great trip overall. A lot of laughters, fun, food, sight-seeing, shopping... also a lot of missings, thoughts, and a heavy heart at times.

It was great.
But for the first time, I was happy to be back.

I love you.

I hope my love is enough to suffice.

Is it?

我被你感动了.

You really don't deserve me.

I'm really glad you ended it.


分开是一种解脱

It felt like just last week that I celebrated towards being able to gain entry to a club.

It felt like just yesterday that I celebrated towards being able to watch adult films.

And now.. it's less than 2 months to my quarter-life crisis.

When did we stop celebrating getting older?

我們都哭了 沒有值得不值得

就在這裡停格 框住最好的顏色

讓我們最難過的 是因為曾經快樂

後來的轉折 我們都無法預測

只能這樣了 繼續下去又如何

就當上了一課保留被愛的資格

Yesterday, I bade goodbye for real to the 4 years that we have been together - all the ups and downs, and everything. I think it has come to realisation that things are not going to be the same after the break up, and that he should also understand the plight I am going through.

I sense regrets in the words, but it's ironic yet true: some people never learn to treasure until they have lost it. Later I'm going to pack up some stuff up, and keep them somewhere. I don't think these things serve as of any meaning anymore, and letting them lie around would be a waste of space as well.

It's been a good 4 years, even though the break up hurts back then. I think I have grown a lot, emotionally and mentally... and I realised that if one day the man you are with no longer love you for who you are, no matter how much you change for that man, he'll never be satisfied.

You left me so you could seek for freedom you wanted and I hope you'll be happy.

So let me now go seek for the love that I want.

I still love Carrie's line - "I want a can't-live-without-you love."

I took the first step yesterday and today.

I started saying 'No'.


But on the side note, I really miss Maomao & Lucky.

While I laugh away with my friend about how stupid some taiwanese love dramas can be, I think the reason why I laughed at it is because I know it'll never happen in my reality.

Dramas make falling in love so easy.

Everything ends someday. It's only a matter of time.

Even my hamster died 4 hours ago. I touched its body. It was still warm. It was only a matter of time before he would pass away.

When one thing ends in your life, the rest of the events end slowly after that. It's like a chain effect.

There was a period of time I did not want any pets, because it'll die someday.

I don't want to lose anything anymore.

I think I've lost enough for now.

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